A Long Goodbye
I’m not really a yoga teacher anymore.
I’m talking about a long goodbye.
Something so near and dear to me is no longer what I do in my work. I mean really really not at all.
Teaching yoga is not what I “do” in my work and hasn’t been for a long time. I’ve been tip-toeing around the subject for years.
Breaking my leg almost a year ago should have brought the lesson home, but I’m a Libra-loyal to the end.
In the prime of my teaching I was living in Minneapolis teaching 12-14-ish classes a week. I had a rigorous teaching schedule for 15 years of my life. I wrote about this in my book, and spoke about the high you get teaching that much. You’re wired-tired most of the time, fueled by helping people, being in intimate spaces with people who need so much help-it’s very addictive because you’re truly helping them and it’s tangible.
Now this is where some of you will unsubscribe because you’ll say, “Jane was my yoga teacher for 10 years and I can’t relate to where she’s going with this.”
Fear not. That’s ok if you do-but if you can relate to the process of becoming something over a slow period of time please read on.
I believe that many great life changes or lessons are slow as molasses. It seems that when our culture talks about change we get the idea that it might come in an instant flash or over a month of two, maybe a couple years.
I’ve found that real change can take years and years and even when you know the change has come, you might still teeter a bit.
Being a yoga teacher for 26 years gave me so many rich gifts. I learned so much about being present in myself. A yoga teacher really has to be consistent and steady. No other thing I’ve ever done in life has really shown me how to just BE in real time. To show up over and over again. To see that our common human struggle inside the body is almost always related to our emotional state. That our physical self is informed by our biology and all of what happens to us emotionally goes right into and out of our precious bodies.
That we are fragile and we need tons of love and support. That “sucking” it up is not for me or most of the world. Being open is where it’s at. That we need help knowing what it means to be open and it can take years to open that doorway.
That our bodies are a miracle and when we learn how to be with them it gets a little easier.
I remember so many times when my students were resting in Savasana at the end of class, I would get teary.
To be in spaces like that with people really allowing themselves to be vulnerable is where I felt right at home.
Even though I’ve been writing and coaching and creating a whole new company over the past few years-producing retreats in Italy, in my heart of hearts being a Yoga teacher has always been there as my steady life mantra.
I also recognize that the lineage of Yoga was a strong backbone I could use to define my role as a teacher. That now as I move far away from that lineage I’m learning to stand in my own power. To really stand out as a teacher using the gifts of yoga in a whole new light.
As I announce to the universe that I’ve moved on-it feels both liberating and like jumping off a dock for the first time in summer.
I’m learning to sit back and stay with the process. I’m my own best teacher if I can stay still and listen with a different ear.
I may be slow but when I know something I really know it.
Can you relate?
We’re always becoming a different version of ourselves. It’s one of the miracles of us.